She Came from Planet Z

my perspective, by me, about me, and probably for me

In our household, we're getting a lot of perspective on different ages and time periods throughout a person's life.  We hear all about grandparents, middle-aged friends, and young go-getters at dad's work and how they are finally reaching their "breaking point" in exhaustion.

And, as my twisted teenage mind rapidly absorbs these tidbits, I think-

I hate my life!  I hate being my age!  I am no go-getter in their 20's nor grandparent!  I get by!  In 8th grade!  And I hate it!

Each day at school has felt like stepping into a hurricane and standing there for ten solid minutes before getting to go back inside.

Instead of doing my homework today, I sat down and filled an entire sheet of notebook paper with tiny, perfect stars.  And then colored them.  And then ate my third bowl of cereal while reading the same clothing catalog for the third time.

I do yoga every wednesday.  And I like it.  I try to find more perspective by thinking about the little 5-year-old girl in our class who seems so focused, instead of on my confusing social life.

I should have drawn some cartoons.  I could have many of them right now, on all the freak-out moments I've had with mom or at school.  Note to self: walks are dangerous.  I open my big mouth every time I agree to go on one.

Me: mom, what's your opinion on dating?

Mom: oh, I think it's fine, I mean... (blah blah blah keeps talking... this is great, I'm happy it was so easy to ask that, OH NO she won't stop talking... )

and then, for some strange reason, it hits me.

I JUST REVEALED AN INCREDIBLY TENDER PART OF MY SOCIAL LIFE TO MOM!

Freak-out time! 

And so, this most often results in me sprinting away at full speed and staying away from the house for an hour or so under the shade of a tree trying to sort out my thoughts (poor me).

Now, for a short explanation, the above question was just one of those "I was just wondering" questions, in case you got any ideas.  I have to cover up my anxieties even on this here blog.

shiny glittery glick

I am having a very sleepy President's day. 

I must be dehydrated at the moment or something... Just sleepy, soft, weak... I could curl up into a little ball and sleep there all day.  I am our cat.

Perhaps it's the still life.

Ah, the still life.  Still life is like the multiplication tables of art.  You've gotta know it, but it's boring and takes a while to get right.  I've gotta know my art multiplication tables for next year.

In the meantime, I have more fun:

What does makeup say to me right now?  I went over to a friend's house and had the classic experience of "let's give you a makeover".  She emptied her holy pouch of makeup and opened every eyeshadow container with a satisfying glick!  I embrace the earthy and un-earthy scents of the shimmery powders and glops and colors. 

I would just love to photograph, like, ten people's makeup bags and all within them, arranged pleasingly.  Then you could print huge photos of these collections so that you could see every brand and sparkle in detail.  I have officially entered the average teenage beauty obsession.

today, let us be calm.

Hiii new bannneeeerrrrr!!!!  Doesn't it feel strange?  And new?  Here's the picture again!

These are girls from my school with anxiety.  Well, about 4 percent of the population of people with anxiety (a.k.a. the whole school).  So I've learned that 7th grade is pretty bad, anxiety-wise, but 8th grade is worse.  No question I am queen of the world back off where are you going are you mad at me I feel really sad now oh look at that funny cat picture.  And then: OH NO!!! TEST TEST TEST TEST TEST!!!! NOOOOO!!!! I hate tests!  And I am ashamed to say I got better grades as a 7th grader.  And yet life some how goes on.

So, now that I've whipped you all up with this whole anxiety idea, let's be calm!  Today is Friday.  Yesterday I felt anxiety, but today, oddly enough, I did not.  Huh!  How 'bout that! 

More about drawing: I am learning to observe.  Fully observe.  I am learning to make notes in my planner on a particular shade of pink I saw someone wearing or the shape of a person's face.  Noticing appearance, not personality.  Or creating personality based on appearance?  Oh dear, this could get a lot less zen.  But anyways... I have a lot more people I want to draw from school.  It feels like you're keeping them in your pocket, like they're just characters you've made up that have no purpose.  Agh!  I don't know what I'm saying.

(another banner idea I had... it just didn't seem original enough) 

school-boggling

Today was a day of many emotions.  For all.  Because, well, there's this teacher, right?  And  he's really popular and cool, right?  And everyone loves him, right?  And then, he goes and gets arrested for having an innapropriate relationship with a minor.  A minor in high school, of course.  But

It's kind of

school-boggling.

People reacted the way their un-decided adolescent minds react.  Half blubbering, half laughing, crying crying crying all day long, utterly confused.  The event was a trauma. 

I didn't have the guy as a teacher.  So this is all I know.  But, to spend a day in school when everyone is completely confused in their state of being, you find yourself running to the hidden Valentines candy bag.

So this is for you, school, this half-eaten bag of chocolate hearts.  Eat up!